Something doesn’t feel right in your relationship but you just can’t put your finger on it. You ask yourself, “We were going okay, weren’t we?”
Hard to say. There is no grade card or scoreboard for your relationship.
Instead you have to depend on hints, suggestions, and feelings.
Luckily, you can find a lot of the information you need inside yourself if you know right where to look. If you see several of these signs it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.
Your partner is pulling back
Is your partner less affectionate then they used to be? This can reveal itself a couple of different ways. Perhaps there is less intensity as you are making love or making out. Perhaps there is less affection in public, or in certain settings where there used to be affection before.
Or maybe now instead of finding reasons for you to go along on an errand your partner is finding reasons to go alone.
This could means your partner is pulling back, but by itself it’s not a big deal. People have to Define themselves as individuals within relationships.
This could be normal, but is it paired with other signs?
You’re on edge, thinking your relationship will end
If you find yourself interestedly reading this article for information about your relationship, it might be a sign. Many times in a struggling relationship or looking back at a broken relationship, people see signs that they knew something was wrong.
You should trust your intuition about this matter. You know it better than anyone else. If you’re always thinking that your relationship is about to end, maybe it is.
Or maybe it’s already over.
Do you have any of these other signs?
You doubt your partner
Your partner’s errands took a lot longer than usual. They turn over their phone quickly when you walk in the room. They are suspicious about you holding or looking at their phone.
These could be coincidences or parts of a normal day.
So listen to your intuition on this too. Does it keep happening? Do you think it feels suspicious?
If you are suspicious, you can’t bury all of your doubts all the time. Suspicion alone is a sign of mistrust.
You aren’t being honest
One of the biggest signs that you’re struggling with trust issues in your relationship is also one of the easiest to figure out.
Are YOU being honest? Are YOU sharing your day openly? Are there conversations or happenings that you intentionally don’t share because you want to keep them hidden from your partner?
This is a sign you need to pay attention to. If you don’t feel you can be fully open and honest with your partner, if you are acting in a way that is not trustworthy, then it is possible that you have already subconsciously left the relationship.
You need to evaluate your own feelings and commitment, because your relationship definitely won’t last if you are the problem.
You catch your partner in a big lie
If you catch your partner in a big lie it’s a pretty important sign that your relationship is struggling. If your partner has strayed past the boundaries that you set in your relationship, you need to have a frank conversation to clear it up.
If they excuse it away, and you fall for flimsy excuses or half-reasons, the relationship is bound to be doomed, or become a prison for you. If your partner is free, but you are trapped, who benefits from that?
Big lies need big interventions. Seek counseling if your partner won’t open up and tell you the truth.
You are resisting next steps
There are other signs that are fully internal as to whether your relationship has trust issues. If your partner wants to step up to another level in the relationship, perhaps physically or in terms of who you share your relationship with, but you are uncomfortable with it, that’s a sign.
If you are resisting next steps you lack trust in your partner and you need to be honest with them.
One of you is becoming overly needy
The final sign of a non trusting relationship is if one of you is becoming overly needy. does your partner suddenly need more reassurance than usual? Do you find yourself asking your partner to promise they love you or to do you one more favor?
If one or both of you need constant reassurance then your relationship lacks the trust it needs.
These signs and concerns can all be addressed, but that can only happen if you are listening to them and taking them seriously.
Do you have a challenging relationship problem that is costing you sleep, or robbing you of your sense of independence? You likely will benefit from talking to a licensed therapist like Sakina Issa.
Luckily, these conversations can happen discreetly and by appointment using the same tools you have grown comfortable using at work, like Zoom or GoToMeeting. Just click the button in the upper right hand corner.
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